Time to Drop Kick my Confidence

I’m not normally an indecisive person.  In fact, amongst my friends, I am usually the spontaneous one, suggesting nights out/weekends away/themed parties.  But for some reason, when an event arises which is solely for my purpose, I will often happily drag my feet and make up a plethora of excuses not to do it.

A perfect example of my ‘folding washing instead of doing something more creative’ current trend of thinking is the upcoming bloggers event Blogfest, organised by Mumsnet.  For any readers who are not aware of this event, despite the use of ‘fest’ in the title it isn’t in a field, I won’t have to wear wellies or use a chemical toilet, unless I want to of course. I attended Blogfest last year on its launch and it was a fantastic day, full of interesting speakers from Caitlin Moran to Prof. Tanya Byron and many more, all there to lend advice or opinion on the world of blogging.  When the email pinged up in my inbox recently suggesting I book my ticket for this years event, I scan read it (it’s an awful habit of mine) and moved onto something else. But, I kept having that nagging feeling that I was missing out on something.

Don’t get me wrong,  I am fairly ambitious in what I do or I wouldn’t be a blogger at all. Earlier this year I attended an intensive writing course on how to write my first novel, unfortunately the said novel is also filed in the ‘dragging my feet’ pile of things to do for myself.  I have told friends and family that I have lots of ideas and that I’m making lots of notes, what I’m actually thinking is I need to rent a cottage in a remote setting where my creative juices will flow in an inspirational environment, these things can’t be rushed!

But the Blogfest email was still burning a hole in my inbox and I needed to make a decision. I glanced back on my musings of last years fest in my post Bloggers Day Out and realised that actually I did enjoy myself. I do remember worrying too much about what to wear on the morning of the event, faced with a room full of fellow bloggers many of whom are very successful in their blogging and not just writing for their friends, family and bizarrely a few followers in Brazil like me. I guessed I should look a little literary, bit trendy, not Mumsy and definitely not ‘trying too hard’. I was fairy satisfied I looked more Lois Lane then Marge Simpson by the end of my wardrobe evacuation and trotted (bad choice of heeled boots) to Millbank for the event. I had also selected a pretty handbag which was completely impractical, as even though it looked like a satchel it didn’t actually fit much in it or could I fit the straps over my shoulder so had to hoop it over my arm a bit like Her Madge.  On arrival at the venue, The Guardian with a zillion supplements was thrust in my direction as the first freebie of the day. (Note to self – politely decline newspaper this year, not necessary to have it, will not use/read it at any point and cannot dump it anywhere).

I think my indecision stems from that new kid at school feeling I sometimes get in a room full of strangers. Last year, after I had finished wrestling with my Guardian newspaper and entered the room full of bloggers who were quietly sipping their complimentary coffee, I couldn’t help feeling that everyone knew each other. I tried to smile at a few people, whilst pretending that I was looking for someone in a bid to feel less conspicuous. I grabbed a coffee and croissant which I literally had to balance on my bag and hoped that someone would approach me but alas no-one did. I tried my Bridget Jones tactic of sidling up to a conversation in full flow and laughing along until I was included but then wimped out and headed for the loo’s instead. The day improved and I ended up making friends with a lovely blogger and author of http://survivingteenagers.co.uk/ who was as much a fish out of water as I was.

I must remember how much I really enjoyed Blogfest last year and what useful information I gained, although I still have lots to learn this year.  Most importantly, I really desperately need to understand what the heck SEO is all about and how to achieve more ‘traffic’.  I also really want to hear the very funny Viv Groskop (at blog session – In it for the LOLZ: writing funnier stuff), as well as Jack Monroe (at blog session – in Shaping the debate: how blogging and social media can change our world), and attempting to slightly stalk the superb author of We Need To Talk About Kevin, Lionel Shriver.

So, as an early Crimbo present, my endlessly supportive parents have bought me a Willy Wonka style ticket. And now I am quite excited really.  I am determined to make the most of this years event and I have a uber talented writer friend who is the blogger author of http://kidsgowild.wordpress.com/ attending so at least I won’t be completely Billy No Mates again.

16 thoughts on “Time to Drop Kick my Confidence

  1. Joan

    Reading this blog is like looking over the writers shoulder at the scene. An interesting gathering of bloggers, if a little daunting by the professional conversations. Well described event.

    Reply
  2. learnermother

    I can’t afford a ticket but even if I could I know I would be feeling the same….well done for taking the plunge, have a great day, and don’t forget to blog it for us scaredy skinty cats!

    Reply
  3. sarahhillwheeler

    I share a lot of your feelings…my first Blogfest, but wondered around another blogging event feeling ever so slightly overhwhelmed (and feigning disproportionate interest in the croissants). Still, a great opportunity and learned lots and met some very nice bloggers. This year have promised myself to be more focus and confident! And thanks for the newspaper tip.

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